Today is international happiness day and I saw this opportunity to share about happiness with all of you.
Everyone wants to be happy. We always seek things or people that make us happy. The rush of dopamine makes us feel good. Thus, it is nicknamed the “feel-good” hormone. But all we do is associate happiness with things or people. What if I told you, that wasn’t always the case? What if happiness was not just linked to someone or something but rather, completely up to us and how we want it to be?
When I was dating, I used to find solitude and happiness solely when I was with my partner. My self-esteem was low, and my days were filled with nothing but emptiness and longing. The only thing I found happiness from was spending time with my partner, be it playing games or just watching movies. After a few months, I started to realise that it wasn’t that she made me happy but that I associated my happiness only to her.
It took time but I started to realise just how serious it was. I realised that happiness was more than a good feeling. It means that you are able to enjoy life in all of its parts. It can help us better ourselves and improve our futures. When research was conducted on people who were considered to be happy, they found that happy people:
- Were more successful
- Better at reaching their goals
- Lived longer
- Were healthier
- Have better relationships
- Learn better
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering. Could it be nature instead of just nurture? Can someone just naturally be happy or at least happier than most? Happiness may be related to personality types. A few research studies have tested this hypothesis. The findings seemed to imply that an individual with an optimistic and sunny personality was usually happier than one with a pessimistic and gloomy personality. But does this mean that if you have a gloomy personality, you will never be happy? Of course not! There are many ways to make yourself happier. As I said before, happiness is up to you.
How can counselling in Singapore help us find joy?
Counselling helps by talking about our emotions. We can learn about what emotions are and how to express or experience them. Counselling also teaches us skills that we need and practices that can help us find joy.
To start us off, let’s talk about positive emotions. Positive emotions include love, joy, humour, and excitement etc. These positive emotions help to reduce our stress hormones while lowering our depression and anxiety levels. Thus, feeling positive emotions on a day-to-day basis is good for allowing us to feel happy.
We can build positive emotions within ourselves through meditation or mindfulness techniques such as yoga or tai chi. When we start looking inside, we can address what we are lacking, what we desire, what’s missing, and when we address that, we can learn more about how we can fill our happiness bucket.
There are other ways to fill our happiness bucket, such as doing what we’re good at or interested in, as well as developing better and healthier relationships with our friends and loved ones. When we do things that we are good at or interested in, we develop a sense of accomplishment, pride, satisfaction and feel good about ourselves.
Another important aspect is friendships and relationships. Having positive people around us or people who give us energy instead of draining us can fill our happiness bucket instead of depleting it.
If you notice your happiness bucket being emptied or if you are feeling low and nothing you are doing seems to be helping, maybe it’s time to speak to someone who can help. .
If there is anyone you think who might need a little push to be a happier version of themselves, be it you or a loved one, our therapist at A Kind Place are here to help. You can reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or drop us a WhatsApp message here.
Till next time!