It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’m back! 🙂
Today I’d like to talk a bit about emotions. I’m wondering, how many of you have felt like you’ve been in such long periods of distress and overwhelming emotions and you cope by avoiding (or maybe you think that you’re accepting it by just ignoring it), then suddenly one day, you realise you don’t really feel much anymore. Your emotions have dulled, your levels of happiness and sadness are milder, and life feels calmer, but almost somewhat blah. You wonder, is there any meaning anymore?
If that sounds familiar, don’t worry, you are not alone. This is something that I have seen happen to many, even to myself! Many of us have not been taught how to manage our emotions. You go to school, people make fun of you, you cry, people stay away or make fun of you even more. You get bullied, you can’t do anything, you can’t tell anyone. Even if you do, nothing really changes. You cry at home, you get yelled at, don’t cry! This society has taught us, suppress, suppress, suppress! If you show emotions, you are weak!! Your mind is weak!!
Thankfully, things are changing. We are learning that is not true! Emotions are a part of life. If you don’t feel emotions, I’d be worried. It’s about how we deal with our emotions. Imagine, your whole life you run and run and run from your emotions. Eventually, you learn to hide very well. You hide and occasionally, the emotion might find you, but you find another hiding place again. << Sounds tiring doesn’t it! Running your whole life and hiding. That’s where we slowly start feeling “meh” and not feeling very motivated and feel like there’s no point to anything. Our life is spent running, not really living!
Tips from a Psychologist in Singapore
- Notice how your body feels when you experience difficult emotions
- Ask yourself what do you need most right now – If the answer is I need a break, take it. If you someone to talk to, talk to someone. As long as it is something healthy, do it.
- After you have calmed down a little, recognise this is pain, this is suffering (Mindfulness)
- Recognise the common humanity in it. We all go through pain and suffering, it’s part and parcel of life, you are not alone!
- Ask yourself, how would you comfort a friend who is going through a similar situation?
- See if you can offer yourself the same words of kindness you would a friend and if you’d like, place a hand over your heart as you do so
It’s OK to seek help from a Psychologist in Singapore
To share more on common humanity – just like all of you, I have gone through moments of distress. Usually my body feels a lot of energy, I’m very amped up, tears start coming into my eyes. What I need is to talk to someone. I usually send messages to a couple of trusted friends, and I recognise that I would cool down after a bit. I avoid messaging the person who made me angry in the first place because I know it wouldn’t turn out good. Thereafter, I offer myself some self-compassion. The steps that I shared with you above. I’ll also ask myself, what do I need and do it for me 🙂