I never knew that I could love a person this much.
On 15 May 2026, I became a mother. Even as I type this, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. It feels surreal how having a child can completely change your life, your mind, and your body, and everything you thought you knew about yourself.
If you are not a mother, it’s hard to understand. When I was pregnant, it didn’t really strike me yet that I was going to be a mother. Everything was as per usual. I’d have some weird emotional changes, but nothing that felt different from PMS.
And then my baby arrived… and everything changed.
The First Few Weeks: When the Worry Doesn't Stop
In the first couple of weeks, all I did was worry about his safety. Things I never worried about before, I started worrying about. Things I already worried about, I worried about even more. I would constantly check on him to make sure he was okay. Irrational fears flooded my mind and tears would just come flowing, out of nowhere, for no reason, and for every reason all at once.
This, I later understood, is what many new mothers experience. It has a name: postpartum anxiety — and it often comes hand-in-hand with postpartum depression (PPD).
Confinement, Expectations, and the Pressure Nobody Warns You About
I chose to do my confinement at home in Malaysia. And you know what they say about mothers nagging and family disagreements? It’s real. I had to balance the expectations of my mother and my husband, all while running on almost no sleep. It wasn’t easy.
One day I felt so overwhelmed that I hid in my room crying. The trigger? A friend simply asked, “Are you okay?” and suddenly a waterfall of tears came rushing in.
That’s when I knew: I really needed sleep. And I needed help.
Having a newborn means sleep is constantly out of reach. We were still learning to understand what he needed. Is he tired? Hungry? Does he need to be changed? Is he bored? Is he in pain? That last one we learned the hard way. We tried a new formula milk that didn’t sit well with him, giving him diarrhoea. My poor boy was in pain and couldn’t sleep. My heart broke for him.
Postpartum Depression in Fathers — Yes, It's Real Too
My husband struggled deeply with the lack of sleep. For fathers, the bond doesn’t always arrive the same way it does for mothers, and that’s completely normal. It can take time for dads to build that love and attachment with their child. But in the meantime, they’re also expected to take care of their wives, care for the baby, manage work, and in our case, navigate the dynamics of my parents being around. All of this, with almost no sleep.
Postpartum depression isn’t only a mother’s experience. While hormonal changes make mothers more physiologically vulnerable, the massive lifestyle and environmental shifts that come with a new baby can affect fathers just as significantly. Studies suggest that up to 8.75% of fathers experience paternal postnatal depression during the postnatal period, with rates peaking at up to 26% around 3–6 months postnatally experience paternal postnatal depression and it often goes unrecognised.
If you’re a new dad reading this: what you’re feeling is valid. You’re not failing. You’re adjusting to one of the biggest transitions of your life.
Day 30: What They Don't Tell You About Recovery
Today is Day 30.
I got hit with a severe case of constipation and food poisoning at the same time. At that moment, it hit me: if I were alone, I would not be able to cope. Being sick while being the primary caregiver for a newborn, without support, is not just hard. It’s dangerous.
My C-section wound still hurts. I am not fully able-bodied yet. These are things mums don’t talk about enough; the physical recovery that drags on quietly while everyone else focuses on the baby.
The Most Important Thing: Ask for Help
When I look at my son and think about this past month, one thing is clearer than everything else: support is everything.
My support system includes my husband, my parents, my sister, my friends, a mummy chat group, and most importantly, I asked for help. I said out loud: I need to sleep.
I did something unconventional: I booked myself into a confinement centre for 7 days after my 30-day home confinement. Not because something was wrong, but because I needed to recover before returning to life in Singapore.
Because there is a lot waiting for me. My EMBA assignments. My work commitments. I’ve already dropped the ball on a couple of things: Missed two meetings because my son needed me, couldn’t focus on my assignments because my brain simply refused. And honestly? It doesn’t feel good, but I need to be kind to myself and tell myself that it’s okay.
You Don't Have to Be Superwoman (Or Superman)
I think many women have it deeply ingrained in them that they need to do it all. I am exactly that kind of person. But with a baby, I’m learning to rethink that.
Mums and dads — you are doing enough. You don’t need to be superwoman or superman right now.
If you’re in the thick of postpartum life and you’re struggling, please know that what you’re feeling is real. It has a name. It is common. And you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it alone.
Reach out. Ask for help. Rest when you can.
And if you think you might be experiencing postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, please speak to a professional. There is no shame in it. There is only courage.
At A Kind Place, we support parents across every chapter – pregnancy, postpartum, and the long journey of caregiving. If something in this piece felt familiar, we’re here for you.
📩 Reach out to us via Whatsapp or email us at hello@akindplace.co
